No you sicko's I am not talking about necrophilia (sorry you can stop reading now) Although I guessin the broader sense, if necrophilia means having a love for something thats dead then I am. and i have been for a lon g time, which of course I am aware of but you know us depressives, if it doesn't hurt its not worth it that's my motto. It's not even so much what you think it is that I miss, it totally doesnt have to be that way, i'll admit at one time it did, I wanted it to be thhat way so bad but not anymore and it seems to only have ruined or buried what was there (hence the nail in the coffin) that perhaps its not salvagable Anyway thats enough for now, have to go wash all this red off my hands............................. Out out damn spot!

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